Friday, December 31, 2010

CLAWS New Years Resolutions

As the year winds to a close and the New Year is quickly approaching, the humans tell us that we are supposed to make something called “New Years Resolutions”. They have informed us that this is a tradition among humans and think that somehow we could benefit from this as well.

The humans explained that a resolution is something like a promise to ourselves to work on something about ourselves that we would like to improve upon. And here we thought we were all perfect? How do you improve on perfection? Asked that, didn’t really get an answer, did get a smirk. What could that mean?

Well, not all of our friends have agreed to go along with this odd human tradition actually. The majority of the birds say they have no need to change a single thing about themselves, so it is mostly we mammals.

First there is Rocky the raccoon. Well, as perfect as he is, he says that he will try to keep his cage a little more neat and orderly. Oh, and he plans to try to stop pulling the sheetrock off the walls. For some strange reason that seems to bother the humans even though he finds it very entertaining.

Galileo the white fox, says he will try very hard to work on getting more comfortable with the leash and on being in front of crowds. He still thinks that having humans come to him would be better, since that is how he is comfortable, but the humans say “we only do outreach”, so he is going to work hard to get more comfortable going OUT in front of crowds and enjoying it.

Razzle the red raccoon says he will work on keeping his cage more clean and try to stop splashing water out of his water bucket all over what the humans used to call the dining room. They say it is ruining their floor. He says he’s a raccoon, what do they expect, but he’ll TRY.

Dazzle, the black raccoon, makes the same resolution, but adds that he will also try to exercise a bit more, eat a bit less and lose that weight the vet said he needs to. He still says he’s perfect the way he is, his plan to look like a bear is coming along nicely, but for sake of peace with his doctor, he will try.

Gadget, the smaller of the two gray foxes says she is going to really put forth an effort to stop trying to chew up mom’s computer and all the gadgets that go with it. Especially while she’s working, she says its really not helpful for me to take her mouse while she’s working. Even if cords are like the BEST thing in the world to chew on, since the humans say it is not a good thing to do, she’s going to work really hard to stop doing that.

Gidget, the other grey fox, says she is going to work very hard to like Galileo so that she can move back in the house where she belongs. She says it was just ONE time months and months ago, she thinks the humans should get over it and she didn’t really hurt him anyway. BUT, she will work on proving that she can be the perfect inside fox. Though she does not promise to share mom with others.

Kabuki, the kinkajous has said that he is going to try to come out more, be more social so that he can go back to doing programs. And he’s going to try to make friends with Rocky the raccoon, so that he can, once again do World Procyonid Wrestling shows. He misses Pooka and isn’t thrilled that he has to train another raccoon, but he says, for the sake of the family, he will try.

Huffalump, the new bearded dragon says she’s going to try to work on her weight problem. Eat less exercise more.

Odo, the short eared owl says that he will try harder to work better with humans other than the love of his life, Gina. He does say this will be very difficult for him because, after all, she is the perfect woman for him, but he is going to try, for the sake of the family!

And last, but by no means least, Mortimer has agreed to go into a 12 step program for banana addicts. He says he won’t be giving up bananas all together, but he is going to try to be more patient when he is getting them.

So, those are our New Years Resolutions. We figure this is an ok list, because we have heard that humans RARELY actually stick to theirs, so if we try it and it doesn’t work, it’s really no big deal, right? I mean, mom was gonna lose weight this year and trust us, she hasn’t done that! Heehee…please don’t tell her we told

Happy New Years to all of our fans and family from all of the animals here at CLAWS, Inc. We hope that you all have a wonderful 2011!!!

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