Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Mortimer Needs A Sponsor

Hi. My name is Mortimer, and Kindra says I am the world’s sweetest groundhog. I am also this week’s “CLAWS Animal of the Week”. I am looking for a sponsor. How cool would it be to tell your friends you sponsor a whistlepig? Where do you humans come up with these names? I’ve seen what you call pigs…um, they don’t even have any fur, people.

My favorite pastimes are breaking out of my cage, redecorating the human dwelling to make it more animal compatible, such as creating “caves” in the walls of the kitchen, and entertaining people.

I am very smart and mechanically inclined, and I like to amuse myself. They use these huge clamps to try to keep me in my cage. So periodically, when I am bored, I will remove them and hide them in my blankets, and go for a walkabout. Sometimes I do a little remodeling, other times I help Kindra out by cleaning off the counters. She claims that moving everything from the counters to the floor is NOT being helpful. It is certainly not my fault that I don’t know where the stuff belongs. Obviously they don’t either since they put it on the counter instead of putting it away in the first place. Sheesh!

I really enjoy being the ambassador from the GGSS (Giant Ground Squirrel Society) to all the little humans we visit. I am in great demand on Groundhog Day. Kindra says I’m probably the only groundhog that didn’t bite his handler. Apparently my fellow ‘hogs don’t realize how fun you humans can be! I LOVE being part of CLAWS educational programs and promoting interspecies understanding.

I’m going to be at the event this coming Sunday (May 2) at Southern Village in Chapel Hill if you want to come meet me. You’ll want to sponsor me after you meet me. I’m totally irresistible. Kindra used to have to frisk people before they left to make sure they weren’t trying to smuggle me out under their shirts. Now you’d look like you were suddenly 9 months pregnant if you tried that.

So, smuggling is out, but sponsoring is IN!


1 comment:

  1. YAY, Carol is my new Sponsor Mommy!!!! Thank you Mommy Carol, we are gonna have so much fun!!!